


love outside the box

by thunderylee



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Romance, kat-tun member-whatever, pin bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-22
Updated: 2010-03-22
Packaged: 2019-01-30 21:11:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: When you’re famous, having a relationship is much like a covert operation. Jin never particularly enjoyed the emotional roller coaster… until now.





	love outside the box

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for je_whiteday 2010.

Turning twenty-five was a bit of an eye-opener for one Akanishi Jin.

All around him, people are getting married and having babies while he continues to sing and dance like he has for over ten years now. Sometimes he wishes that there was a bit of truth to any of the thousands of rumors of him with countless women across the globe, because then at least he’d be getting something more than a meaningful overnight relationship.

Recently he hasn’t even bothered to learn their names. They don’t care what he calls him as long as he takes them home – or to his car, the bathroom, or the alley behind the club – and gives them what they came for. Sex has completely lost its appeal but he does it anyway, for that brief air of affection that seems more like a concept than a reality, especially when they leave disappointed because he’s not actually the casanova that his reputation plagues him to be.

“Your problem,” Ryo tells him, unsolicited as usual, “is that you’re a dog sniffing around the cat farm for a bone. I shouldn’t have to tell you how impossible it is to exist on the same level with people who don’t have any inkling of understanding for your job.”

This is Nishikido Ryo, who spends more time arguing with his girlfriend than anything that could even be construed as love. Jin’s been present more than once for the uncomfortable screaming matches, because that Masami gives it back just as avidly as she gets it, and somehow it always ends in them making out and excusing themselves for the evening. Jin doesn’t get them at all, which just makes him more reluctant to accept any ‘helpful’ advice Ryo may have on the topic.

“He’s right,” Yamapi speaks up, his eyes unmoving from where he’s rapidly typing on his phone. There’s no doubt who is on the receiving end judging by the completely smitten look on his face. “It’s easy for Keiko-chan and I to be together because we know what’s expected of the other. We don’t get jealous or resentful that we can’t spend a lot of time together.”

Jin starts to open his mouth, then he thinks better of it and just nods. What he wants to say is that these two haven’t actually been _out_ of the spotlight long enough to know what life is like on the other side, or on the ‘cat farm’ as Ryo put it. Nothing against Masami or Keiko, but Jin prefers real women who have _lived_ and have something to talk about other than photoshoots and material things.

His one regret about going to L.A. was that now he knows what he’s missing out on.

The beep of his phone pulls him out of his self-pity, a slow shake of his head as he chuckles at the words that would make absolutely no sense if it had been from anyone other than Nishiyama Maki.

_At the aquarium on a date. Saw a seahorse and it reminded me of you. ^^_

Ryo snatches his phone and laughs. “Is this crazy bitch still mailing you?”

“Yeah,” Jin admits. “I don’t mind.”

“What does a seahorse have to do with you?” Ryo asks, frowning in confusion.

“Hell if I know.” Jin shrugs. “She’s weird like that.”

“Maybe it’s because the males have the babies,” Yamapi speaks up. “You’re always talking about how you want kids. If you were a seahorse, you could do it yourself.”

Both Ryo and Jin stare at him. “You’re weird too,” Jin tells him.

“And that’s not entirely accurate,” Ryo adds. “The female seahorse has to give the male her eggs to fertilize.”

Now Jin swirls his head back to stare at Ryo. “How do you know that?”

Ryo shrugs. “Just because I didn’t go to school doesn’t mean that I don’t know things. More importantly, why is she mailing you when she’s on a _date_?”

“Must be a boring date,” Yamapi scoffs. “I imagine the _average_ man wouldn’t hold her attention span for very long.”

“There you go!” Ryo exclaims, tossing Jin back his phone before clapping him on the shoulder. “She’s totally a dog whom you could go after.”

“She’s more like a bird,” Jin thinks out loud. “A completely different species. We’re not even really friends anymore. She just… randomly mails me.”

“Do you ever mail her back?” Ryo asks.

Jin shakes his head. “No. That’s what makes her even weirder. I haven’t even seen her for over a year.”

Not since the rumors, Jin amends fondly. They’d had a good laugh over Maki’s supposed clinginess, back when Jin thought it was funny to get Friday’d and have people speculate about his personal life. Now it’s just an annoying reminder that he’s not actually seeing anybody.

“Dogs like birds too, maybe even better than bones,” Yamapi says in a cryptic tone, although the smirk on his face completely negates any innocence in his statement.

For the first time in a very long while, Jin hits the ‘reply’ button on his phone. He’s not sure if it’s his mood or Ryo and Yamapi’s coercion, but he types the first thing that comes to his mind and hits ‘send’ without any further thought.

_I like blowfish better._

Five minutes later, he has a crooked phone pic of Maki puffing her cheeks and giving the peace sign next to an angry-looking blowfish. Jin laughs out loud and sets it as her assigned photo.

Yamapi drags his eyes away from his own phone long enough to exchange a knowing look with Ryo, but Jin’s too amused to notice.

*

“Akanishi, are you paying attention?”

“Nope,” Jin replies bluntly, feet crossed on the folding chair across from him as he types rapidly on his phone.

“New order of business,” speaks up Koki, the usual malice in his voice. “Find out who Akanishi’s girlfriend is.”

“Haha, fuck you,” Jin says, his thumbs uninterrupted. “Not a girlfriend.”

“It’s probably Yamashita,” Kame mutters. “Can we focus, please?”

 _Real turtles are mute. And cuter._ Jin hits ‘send’ with a smirk. “New order of business,” he announces. “Get the stick out of Kame’s ass.”

“Not me,” Ueda and Koki quickly call out, followed by Jin and Junno.

Nakamaru looks to the ceiling. “ _Dammit_.”

“Thanks for the concern,” Kame says sarcastically. “I’m just trying to wrap up before midnight so that I can go get laid.”

A beat, then Ueda stifles a noise and Koki coughs from the force of his restraint, while Jin laughs so hard that he almost falls out of his chair.

“Bullshit,” calls Junno calmly.

Kame gives them a haughty look. “I don’t care if you believe me or not.”

Jin’s phone beeps. _I hear they get good distance when you punt them._

He’s considering it when the device is swiped from his hand. “Oi!”

“Nishiyama _Maki_?” Koki reads. He gives Jin this scandalized look. “Wasn’t she the crazy one?”

“I liked her,” Ueda inputs. “I didn’t know you were seeing her again.”

“I wasn’t seeing her in the first place,” Jin counters, snatching his phone back. “She’s been mailing me sporadically about completely random things, and the other day I decided to reply back.” Jin frowns. “I don’t think we’ve actually had a real conversation yet. Just things that pop into our heads.”

This morning he’d woken up to a message that read: _There’s a guy in a banana costume at the train station. I gave him 100 yen because he wasn’t peeled._

He doesn’t think he’ll ever understand her, but she’s definitely entertaining. He’s found himself looking forward to her mails, which are a complete contrast to the usual “what are you doing?” or reminders from various people (mostly his mother). If asked, he wouldn’t be able to say what kind of project she’s working on or who she’s been spending time with, but he could say with certainty that she made her sashimi battle at dinner the other night (salmon won, best of three) and held an entire one-sided conversation with her fake boyfriend on her phone on the bus just so this creeper wouldn’t approach her.

_If I put my hair in pigtails and take off my makeup, do you think the driver will let me on for youth fare?_

Jin just shakes his head and humors Kame by participating in their completely unnecessary meeting. Right at midnight, _Kame’s_ phone goes off.

Five people dive for it; Ueda just sits back and looks smug. He probably already knows.

“‘I’m here, where the fuck are you?'” Junno reads, followed by his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. “ _Kuroki Meisa_?”

Kame grabs his phone at the same time he flips his jacket over his shoulder with a smirk. “I’ll be going now.”

There are whistles and catcalls in his wake, but none from Jin. He could care less about Kame sticking it to pop’s latest sex kitten. Maki had attached a picture with her last message, pigtails and makeup-free as promised, and Jin could hardly take his eyes off of her long enough to type a response.

_It’s too late to be riding the bus. Where are you? I’ll give you a ride._

*

She looks exactly the same, maybe not as glamorous but Jin likes it better that way. Maki looks around his dashboard with big eyes, flips through the CDs on the back of his visor and settles for staring out the window, curiously like she’s never seen this part of town before.

“How have you been?” he asks, pretending it didn’t take five whole minutes (and forty-three seconds) of silence for him to gather the nerve to speak.

One of her pigtails smacks her in the face as she spins around to face him, rubbing her eye as she responds. “ _Ow_. I’ve been okay, I guess. Working and paying bills. Being an adult is boring.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Jin agrees. “It gets kind of monotonous at times.”

She just nods, and they fall quiet again. Jin wants to kick himself. Usually the girls do all of the talking while he just sits there and listens, drinks and maybe smokes while they go on and on about anything and everything. Maki doesn’t appear to need entertainment, though, even if she’s not as chatty as she was back when they used to hang out. Even if he’s not actually trying to court her.

He catches her making fish faces in the side mirror and hides a laugh.

“You know what I’m afraid of?” she asks without stopping for an answer. “Random onset insomnia.”

Jin feels his forehead crease as he contemplates it. “That would be horrible.”

“I could not think of a worse way to die,” Maki says seriously. “It might even beat out a shark attack. I have a list.”

Jin is not at all surprised.

Maki looks scared at the thought. “I love sleeping almost more than pumpkin cake.”

“You’re making me hungry,” Jin admits with a laugh. “Dinner was _forever_ ago.”

“Green tea ice cream!” she almost shrieks, flashing him a grin. “My treat, for thwarting my age experiment.”

Jin isn’t going to argue. “Do you have a recommended place around here?”

“Around… here?” she repeats slowly, then frowns as she looks out the window. “I don’t know this area at all.”

“What?” he asks, glancing over at her in surprise before returning his eyes back to the road. “Isn’t this your neighborhood?”

“Akanishi Jin-kun,” Maki says in a mock-stern voice. “Did you get me mixed up with some other girl?”

Jin’s hand flies to his forehead. “No! I swear I thought you lived on this next street.”

He expects her to fly off the handle, but she just laughs and flops back in her seat, hugging the seat belt with both arms. “And here I was thinking you were taking me back to your place. That’s what I get for assuming!”

“I don’t-” Jin starts, then realizes that it’s not polite to tell a girl you don’t like her. “I mean, I wouldn’t-”

“It’s _okay_ ,” Maki assures him. “I actually live an hour in the _other_ direction from where you picked me up.”

“Oh,” Jin says, looking at the clock. If he took her all the way home, he wouldn’t get back until nearly four a.m. “In that case, I can sleep on the couch and give you my bed. With new sheets, of course.”

Maki peers at him. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Jin doesn’t know what to say to that, so he slouches down in his seat and gets back on the freeway to go home. He can’t remember if he did the dishes this morning, or if it was Yamapi’s turn and Jin was actually supposed to take out the trash. Either way, he’s certain that their apartment is not up to standards for female company, even if Yamapi has no problem inviting Keiko over regardless of what it looks like.

“Tell you what,” Maki interrupts his internal berating. “I’ll make breakfast too, in return for your hospitality. I make a mean waffle.”

Jin thinks it’s a fair trade for his dignity. And possibly his heart.

*

He didn’t think he was nervous until he couldn’t get his key in the door due to how badly his hands were shaking.

“I’ll do it,” Maki offers cheerfully, relieving him of his keys as she balances the conbini bag of waffle ingredients in her arms. Jin had tried to carry them for her but she wouldn’t have it, claiming that she was perfectly capable of carrying her own bag, thank you very much. “I’m coming in,” she sing-song whispers as she gently pushes open the door, the light from the hallway spilling into the dim living area.

Which was occupied by Jin’s roommate and his girlfriend making out on the couch. They jump apart and stare in surprise at Maki, their faces relaxing into simple annoyance when Jin follows behind.

“Welcome home,” Yamapi says apologetically as he wipes his mouth. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“I’m home.” Jin clears his throat awkwardly, gesturing to Maki. “You guys know Nishiyama Maki-chan.”

“Actually I don’t,” speaks up Keiko. She lowers her head politely. “I’m Kitagawa Keiko.”

Maki grins at her. “Hi! Do you like waffles?”

“Um.” Keiko looks helplessly at Yamapi, who shrugs. “Yes?”

Jin jumps as Maki’s elbow digs into his side. “See,” she hisses. “I told you it was better to get more.”

He just stands in front of the door as Maki slides off her shoes and heads to the kitchen, where she opens the fridge to put the items away. After what looks like an internal battle, Keiko pulls away from Yamapi and gets to her feet, carefully approaching the other female in the house.

“Do you want some help?” Keiko asks, then looks confused when she sees what Maki is doing.

“Oh, I’m not making them right _now_ ,” Maki clarifies. “I’m kind of stranded here due to a misunderstanding, so I was going to make Jin-kun breakfast in exchange for imposing.”

Yamapi raises an eyebrow at Jin, who conveniently looks elsewhere.

Keiko looks like she’s trying not to laugh. “Oh, um. I’m not sleeping here. Yamashita-kun has work in the morning.”

Now Jin’s eyeing Yamapi, with obvious glances to his watch. Yamapi narrows his eyes and points to the door, as if to retort ‘you should talk’. Jin is fully prepared for a wordless argument of epic proportions when Keiko mentions leaving her phone in Yamapi’s bedroom and they both disappear under the pretense of getting it.

“Do they really think we’re that stupid?” Maki asks under her breath.

Jin turns to see her biting her lip to keep from laughing. “I’ll get the bed ready,” he mumbles, then squeezes past her and nearly trips over his feet in his rush down the hall. Somehow having a girl in his bed without him in it is more nerve-wracking than the alternative. He has laundry all over his room but he’s pretty sure it’s clean; he wonders if Maki has anything to sleep in and grabs one of his oversized T-shirts just in case, sniffing it and declaring it clean before tossing it over a chair. The sheets are rumpled and it doesn’t look nearly as nice as when his mother makes his bed every Sunday (after kicking him out of it), but it will have to do.

He quickly scans the room to make sure he didn’t leave his porn out or anything equally as embarrassing, then tries to look casual as he saunters back out into the living room where Maki is entertaining herself with the Rubix cube that Rina got them for Christmas. Which hasn’t been touched since.

“These are supposed to stimulate some kind of chemical in your brain,” she tells him, frowning as she moves the pieces around. “Something about planning your moves without realizing it. I don’t really remember, but I suck at it.”

Jin can’t help but smile as she places the cube down in defeat. “It’s, um, ready.”

“Thanks.” She hops up and flashes him a grin, looking at him expectantly until he realizes that he’s in her way and moves. “Just wake me up whenever you want waffles. I don’t have any plans tomorrow. Today. Whatever.”

“Good night,” he calls after her, feeling out of place in his own living room. He makes a face at sleeping on the same couch that Yamapi and Keiko were just _making out on_ , but grabs blankets and pillows from the hall closet anyway. It’s not that thought that keeps him awake, although admittedly it’s similar despite involving different people. One of them being in his bed right now.

He stares at the ceiling until he’s not really looking at anything, spending at least an hour reliving the past couple weeks in his mind. It’s not such a great time for him, releasing two singles while putting together his solo concert, but he can’t deny that Maki’s random messages have brightened his day, giving him little breaks from the monotony of his work. She’s definitely weird but he doesn’t mind, never really has and kind of likes her better that way. She’s different.

Maybe this dog could catch this bird after all.

That’s his last thought before a shadow materializes in his peripheral vision and he nearly jumps out of his own skin, making an embarrassing noise that chokes in his throat when he realizes that a very sleepy Maki is approaching him with her hair down and his T-shirt hanging down to mid-thigh. On _bare_ thighs.

Jin gulps. “Are you sleepwalking?”

“Did I scare you? I’m sorry.” Maki yawns and perches on the arm of the couch, giving Jin an uninterrupted view of her legs. “I can’t sleep.”

It’s then that Jin remembers that he and Yamapi share a wall, and not everyone sleeps as hard as him. “Are they going at it? Just bang on the wall, they’ll quiet down.”

“Oh, um.” Maki scratches her head. “I didn’t hear anything. I actually think they fell asleep. Either that or they flew out the window.”

Jin snorts despite himself. “Is there something wrong with my bed?”

“Don’t laugh,” she prefaces, and he instantly finds himself holding back his amusement. “At home I have stuffed animals all over my bed, so I’m used to there being… other things on there with me. There’s nothing on your bed. It’s unsettling.”

“Um,” Jin begins, unsure of how to handle this. “I don’t have any stuffed animals-”

“No, no, no,” she halts him. “I was just going to suggest switching. I might be able to sleep on something with less open space, is all.”

“I can’t let you sleep on the couch,” he tells her firmly. “I just can’t. It’s a guy thing.”

She gives him a sleepy glare. “So your testosterone won’t let me be comfortable?”

“When you put it that way…” Jin frowns. “Maybe I can get Yamapi to sleep in my room and you can share with Keiko.”

“No offense,” Maki says, “but I’d rather share a bed with you than some girl I don’t know.”

Jin’s mouth goes dry. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying if you insist on me sleeping in there, you’ll need to create some clutter for me.” Maki starts to stand up and nearly topples over. “The easiest way would be with your person.”

“Maki-”

She offers him a sympathetic look. “Don’t worry, I know you don’t like me like that. I just want to sleep. That’s all.”

He almost refutes her. Almost. “All right.”

He ends up carrying her back to his bedroom, because she really is tired and can’t seem to walk in a straight line, and the pleasant noise she makes when he joins her under the sheets has him wishing that these were different circumstances. That she was more awake, for one thing, being as she lays next to his arm and instantly falls asleep. They’re not even touching, just her breath on his skin, and somehow that makes him want it more.

His bedroom ceiling doesn’t look much different than the other one, but this time he doesn’t have to look at it for very long.

When he wakes, the space next to him is empty and he hears sounds from the kitchen, the smell of waffles wafting through his open door, and he allows himself the brief delusion that he could get used to this.

*

February brings forth a whirlwind month of concerts and appearances, performance after performance of his own songs as well as KAT-TUN’s. Whoever decided that KAT-TUN should promote _two_ songs at the same time as his solo concert needed to die in a long, burning fire, but he couldn’t stay awake long enough to stay angry about it. Kame wasn’t even berating him for falling asleep during rehearsals, but everybody knew that it had nothing to do with any kind of sympathy for Jin.

“Still seeing Kuroki-san, I take it,” Koki teases him, only sounding a little jealous.

Kame rolls his eyes. “We’re just friends.”

“We’ll see about that tomorrow,” Junno says cryptically, returning their blank looks with a pointed one. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“Oh, it is,” Jin mumbles, the first words he’s spoken since he arrived.

“Kuroki-san doesn’t seem like the type to make chocolates,” Koki muses out loud. “Unless they have some kind of aphrodisiac in them.”

Kame’s eyebrows perk up in interest. Ueda pretends to be reading a magazine, and Nakamaru just looks scandalized.

Jin pays them no mind and wonders if Maki is going to give him any chocolates. He hasn’t had a chance to talk to her properly since his concerts started, and after a few encouraging mails she stopped sending them entirely. He knows that she’s just leaving him alone so that he can concentrate on his work, but he’d gotten used to her randomness and maybe even missed hearing about her day. There was always something completely insane for her to tell him about, no matter whether she just went to the grocery store or didn’t even leave her apartment.

He milks the holiday theme at the next day’s shows, pouting about nobody bringing him any chocolates even though they wouldn’t have been allowed past security anyway. During the MCs he gives an impromptu speech about love, comparing it to music and probably losing his point before he gets a whole minute into it. Hopefully his fans forgive him for not making any sense; it’s not like he’s ever been really good at expressing himself.

The late show is much more coherent than the early one, because Jin has the next morning off and he is _elated_ about it. No rehearsals, no stupid group meetings, just a hot date with his bed and the backs of his eyelids. He has already informed Yamapi that if he wakes him up before noon, Jin will cause him much pain, even if he wouldn’t really do anything. The threat stands, though.

He arrives home just before midnight, only a few minutes of the official holiday left, and nearly trips over a small box that was rudely placed right on the other side of the door. Or smartly, because otherwise Jin wouldn’t have found it until much, much later. The wrapping paper sparkles even in the dark, the glitter getting all over his pants and the carpet as he picks it up and takes it to his room. It’s cute that one of Yamapi’s women gave Jin obligation chocolates, either Keiko or Rina, unless Yamapi decided to be stupid and do it himself. The glitter wrapping paper is definitely Yamapi’s style, and upon further scrutiny he recognizes the handwriting on the accompanying note.

_I didn’t eat any, but only because her threats are much more involved than yours. :P_

Curious despite his exhaustion, Jin collapses into bed, leaning over the edge to keep from getting glitter on his covers. Inside are nine misshaped chocolates, all different and clearly handmade. They remind him of the clouds in the sky, how people can see them form certain things even if they don’t resemble them at all; if Jin looks closely, he can see a fat turtle and maybe a face with a big nose, briefly entertaining the thought of someone molding chocolates into representations of his bandmates.

The letter inside is in different handwriting, flowery and decidedly girly: _To Jin-kun: I am not as good at pottery as I am at drawing, but Happy Valentine’s Day anyway. I put in a special ingredient to raise your genki. ;) I was at the show earlier, did you see me? ^^ You are doing well, please keep working hard but remember to have fun too! Isn’t it amazing that I had already made these for you when you mentioned not getting any chocolates? I must be psychic. 8D Please enjoy them and take care of yourself. From Nishiyama Maki._

Jin’s smile broadens until it’s a full-out grin as he reads, then studies the remaining unidentified blobs in an attempt to figure out who is who. The crooked joker hat has to be Koki, Junno is a big smiley face, and another face with big lips is definitely Ueda. There are two chocolates near the bottom resembling a dog with floppy ears and a coiled snake with his tongue sticking out, which Jin realizes could be accurate symbols for Yamapi and Ryo. Which leaves a big heart and a girly face with long hair, and Jin laughs when it occurs to him that either one could be him.

Suddenly he has a second wind and bursts into Yamapi’s room, turning on the light and flopping onto the bed next to his sleeping roommate. “Pi, wake up, I have chocolate.”

“Choco?” Yamapi mumbles, looking not at all annoyed as he stretches and pries open his eyes. “Ah, light.”

“Sorry,” Jin says in a rushed voice. He knows he sounds completely unapologetic and he doesn’t care. “I’ll let you have one if you tell me which one looks like me.”

“Which one… _looks_ like you?” Yamapi repeats. “My eyes are not even focused, Jin. Anyway, chocolates look like chocolates, not people.”

“Not these,” Jin says happily, bouncing a little as he shoves the box in Yamapi’s face. “Maki-chan is creative.”

Yamapi yawns. “That’s one word for it.” He peers into the box, cringing at the light, and frowns. “They all look like deformed monsters. Oh wait, there’s Nakamaru’s nose.”

“Yeah,” Jin prompts. “And Ueda’s lips and Junno’s stupid grin and the animal forms of you, Ryo, and Kame. The joker hat is Koki, obviously, which leaves one of these two for me.”

“Which one am I?” Yamapi asks, squinting more.

Jin sighs. “The dog. But these two-”

“Why am I a dog?” Yamapi pouts.

Jin pokes him in his outstretched bottom lip. “ _That’s_ why.”

Yamapi sucks it back into his mouth. “Oh. Woof.”

“There’s a heart and a girl,” Jin persists, pointing to them.

Yamapi laughs. “You’re asking me if you’re a heart or a girl?”

“When you put it like that…” Jin narrows his eyes at his amused, sleepy roommate. “But I have long hair!”

“Bakanishi,” Yamapi chides, and Jin rolls his eyes at the old nickname. “Clearly you are the heart and she is the girl because _she loves you_.”

“No she doesn’t,” Jin argues, realizing that he sounds _disappointed_ about it. “We’re just friends. She was at my concert earlier.”

“I know, I was here when she stopped by.” Yamapi smirks. “She’s crazy, but that just means her love for you is crazy too. Maybe you’re falling in the crazy love~”

Jin ignores the off-tune singing and focuses on the girl face. The longer he looks, the more he sees her features in it. “The heart is in the middle of the box,” he notices out loud.

“Further proof that it’s you,” Yamapi tells him. “The rest of us are all connected to you.”

Right now, Jin feels like his own heart will break out of his chest if it gets any bigger; maybe it’s a logical representation after all. “I guess I’m nice and caring or something.”

“In her eyes, anyway,” Yamapi teases, holding up an arm to shield Jin’s inevitable swat at him. “I answered your question, now give me chocolate!”

“I should make you eat Kame,” Jin grumbles, but points to the dog one. “Although eating yourself is just as weird.”

Yamapi chuckles as he pops the chocolate into his mouth and chews. “Ah, I am delicious!” He looks over, sees Jin watching him intently, and raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Nothing, just observing.” Jin flashes his best, innocent grin.

Licking his lips, Yamapi swallows and fixes Jin with a hard glare. “What’s in them, Jin.”

“I honestly don’t know,” Jin tells him, producing Maki’s letter from behind his back. “She said she included a _special ingredient_ to ‘raise my genki’.”

“You drugged me!” Yamapi declares, pushing the box back towards him. “First you wake me up, and then you drug me. Now you have to eat one, because I will not be stoned by myself.”

“Okay, okay,” Jin gives in, then pops the heart-shaped chocolate into his mouth. “Ooh, this is really good.”

“Isn’t it?” Yamapi replies, leaning back against his pillow. “I don’t feel stoned, though.”

“Me neither,” Jin admits. “Maybe it’s slow-acting.”

He plops down and steals part of Yamapi’s pillow, the pair of them resigning themselves to staring at Yamapi’s ceiling as they wait for whatever inserted substance to take effect. The next thing he knows, strong rays of midday sunlight are pouring through the window and Yamapi’s covers are haphazardly wrapped around him, making him feel like a burrito. The remaining chocolates are still in the box that had been placed on Yamapi’s nightstand with another note: _A girl gives you chocolates and you end up in my bed? What an insult. :P_

Jin just rolls his eyes and grabs for his phone, ignoring the business mails waiting for him and bringing up a message box to Maki. _Thank you for the chocolates, they are delicious. Whatever you put in them, it knocked me right out._

A few minutes later, his phone beeps. _I didn’t put anything out of the ordinary in them, but a well-rested Jin-kun is a genki one, right? I’m glad you liked them. Did you recognize everybody?_

The kanji swims in front of his eyes, resorting him to squinting before he just calls her. “Sorry,” he says in greeting. “I just woke up. I can barely focus on the numbers.”

“Woke up? It’s two in the afternoon!” she exclaims, but she’s laughing. “What did you think I put in them?”

“I don’t know, something… mind-altering,” Jin admits, then frowns at Maki’s sudden explosion of hysterics. “You said ‘special ingredient’, what was I supposed to think?!”

“Only you, Jin-kun,” she says fondly. “People are looking at me strangely. I’m at the shrine.”

Jin flings his arm over his eyes, cringing in sympathetic embarrassment. “Ah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, I already prayed. Happy Lunar New Year to you!”

“You too. It’s not your year, is it?” he asks, trying to remember how old she is.

“No, I was last year.” She sighs. “Eleven more years until I can shine again, but that’s depressing. So what are you doing today?”

“I have a show tonight,” he tells her as he stretches, trying not to groan into the phone. “I’m still in bed – well, not my bed. Pi’s bed.” He almost smacks himself when he realizes what he just said. “I wanted him to tell me which chocolate was me, then we ate some and fell asleep.”

Maki giggles. “Good thing Kitagawa-san wasn’t there. That might have been awkward.”

For a second Jin thinks she’s talking about his boss, then remembers Keiko’s last name. He actually thinks that Johnny would be more disturbed than her; she’s been over enough to be used to Yamapi and Jin’s behavior. “Yeah,” is all he says.

Now he remembers why he doesn’t call people; the silence is even worse over the phone. He considers actually getting up and facing the day, but it seems like too much effort to unwrap him from Yamapi’s covers and he resigns himself to laying around for a little while longer.

“So which one did you think was you?” Maki asks. “I thought it was rather obvious, but other people don’t usually think like me so I’m interested.”

Jin feels a little sheepish at admitting it, but he tells himself at least they’re not in person. “It was between the heart and the girl, and Yamapi picked the heart because I’m nice. Or something.”

“That’s true, you are nice~” Maki drawls. “But you are also wrong. The heart was just a heart. It’s the symbol of Valentine’s Day, right? The one that you thought was a girl is actually a boy, with Jin-kun’s hair and Jin-kun’s hand gesture.”

He pulls it out of the box and stares at it, still seeing a girl with her hand covering her mouth. “Oh.”

“I’ll try not to be too offended,” she says.

“I didn’t mean-” he starts, then stops when he hears her laughing. “I thought the girl was you.”

“Oh!” she cries, sounding surprised. “I didn’t think to make one of myself. I wonder what form I would take.”

“A bird,” Jin blurts out. “One that flies in the opposite direction of the others, aimlessly and open to whatever you find.”

Maki pauses for a second, then makes a happy noise. “Jin-kun, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Ah, well.” Jin scratches his head and pulls the covers over his face. “I’m glad.”

“Oh no, I have to go,” she tells him. “There is a man selling balloon animals and I hope he will teach me how to make them.”

“Sounds like fun,” he replies, feeling a little jealous. “I want one.”

“If I learn, I’ll definitely make you one.” She sounds rushed, like she’s chasing someone, and Jin’s not sure that he wants to know. “I’m going to hang up now. Good luck tonight, I’ll fly with you later.”

He stares at the phone as he hangs up, the words staying in his mind and giving him images of two crazy birds soaring through the sky towards nowhere. The thought has him feeling motivated, untangling himself from the covers and stumbling into the shower, waking up completely and surprising everyone at the venue by arriving early and in a good mood.

First he has to learn how to fly.

*

The concert run ends with minimal damage, giving Jin a week of peace before he starts meetings with the other members of KAT-TUN for their new album. He thinks it’s a little odd that they’re going to release an album with only one single, but Johnny’s been cutting back lately so he supposes he should be grateful that they get to release anything at all. Besides, after six solos and three duos, there’s only a few spots left for group songs anyway.

A serious janken match pairs him with Koki, which is the best and worst thing that could have happened to him. On one hand, they like the same style of music – western hip-hop beats with a lot of rapping and offensive content. On the other, they are both very particular about their solos.

In short, Jin expects a brawl.

 _Get drunk and make sure it’s in writing_ , Maki suggests. _And it would be cool if you rapped about penguins. Nobody has rapped about penguins before._

Weirdness aside, it’s probably the first time that a girl has actively told him to go out and drink. Usually they get all concerned about his health and act like his mother, when his own mother has given up lecturing him on alcoholic responsibility; she’s just happy he doesn’t fall through _her_ door at two a.m. and pass out in the hallway anymore.

“She’s not your girlfriend, of course she wouldn’t give a shit,” Ryo helpfully reminds him, tossing Jin’s phone back across the couch. “And if you actually get Tanaka to rap about penguins, let me know what you gave him to drink so I can give it to Ma-chan. There’s something I’ve been trying to get her to do and she keeps flaking out at the last minute.”

“You know, that kind of thing isn’t usually considered consensual,” Keiko says gently.

Ryo takes a sip of his beer. “No offense, but it’s guy night. Your opinion is invalid.”

“Noted,” she replies. “I’ll still say it, though.”

Yamapi just shrugs, completely unapologetic and a little proud.

“And for your information, she’s already _consented_ to it,” Ryo says. “She just won’t actually do it.”

“Do I even want to know?” Jin asks.

Ryo grins. “I’ll tell you.”

“I have no idea how she puts up with you,” Keiko tells him with a smile.

Ryo’s response involves his tongue and no words, and even Jin cringes at the implication. “That’s how,” Ryo says.

Keiko just blinks. “I hope she has toys.”

Jin makes the mistake of looking at Yamapi and they both nearly explode from trying not to laugh, which is pointless because Ryo just rolls his eyes at them all. “Funny you bring that up, being as it has a lot to do with what I want her to do.”

Keiko makes a face that’s a cross between disgust and interest, and Jin thinks that this is a great time to go outside for a cigarette. He doesn’t mind Keiko at all, especially since she gives Ryo a run for his money in the snark department (as does Masami, but there is a much less probability of Keiko cheating by groping him), but all of this talk about sex just reminds him that he’s not getting any. Even if he had been interested in something casual, he was so worn out during his solo concert run that he doubted he could have gotten it up for anyone.

Now that he has a week off, he’d ordinarily be hitting the clubs, dragging Shirota or Koki with him since his usual wingmen weren’t interested in pursuing those kind of opportunities at this time. It wouldn’t be hard for him to find a cute girl, maybe foreign, grind against her for an hour until she pulled him off the dance floor and into her thong. The club hos always wore thongs. Jin can’t imagine that they’re very comfortable but he doesn’t mind if they don’t.

This train of thought of course leads him to think about Maki and what kind of underwear she wears, what might have been under _his_ shirt the night she’d slept over. He almost smacks himself to snap out of it; she’s the absolute _last_ girl that he should thinking about getting into bed (that is, other than to sleep) because he actually likes her.

He actually _likes_ her.

“You look like you just saw a ghost,” a soft female voice interrupts his internal confession. Keiko smiles warmly as he turns around to gape at her. “I lost at janken,” she explains.

Jin nods. “Sorry. You can go tell the hens that there’s nothing wrong.”

“All right, I will,” Keiko says, making no effort to leave. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Jin laughs as he takes a drag and blows it out into the night. “Keiko-chan,” he says slowly. “How do girls like to be confessed to?”

He doesn’t dare look over his shoulder, where Keiko is undoubtedly doing a silent victory dance and probably finger-spelling everything to Yamapi through the sliding glass door. “Ah, well, most girls like the direct approach. And it doesn’t hurt to take her somewhere nice and maybe get a thoughtful gift.”

The winter air seems to mock him, blowing his exhale right back in his face and making him choke. “Is that right?” he coughs out.

“Yes,” Keiko says confidently. She joins Jin on the railing on which she folds her hands. “Which means that you should do the exact opposite, because Nishiyama-san isn’t ‘most girls’.”

“That is definitely the truth,” Jin says, followed by a sigh. “But it doesn’t help me at all.”

Keiko nudges his arm in a true guy-to-guy fashion. “Maybe you can get a clue from her messages.”

It’s cryptic enough to irritate him, but Keiko heads back inside before he can voice it. Besides, Jin doesn’t have to look at his phone to know what to do, what he _has_ to do to show Maki how he feels without coming out and saying it, because that’s not the proper way to confess to someone who values actions higher than words.

Jin puts out his cigarette and resigns himself to spending his week of freedom working his powers of intragroup persuasion and possibly underhanded manipulation.

The first thing he does is Google penguins.

*

“Okay,” says Koki calmly.

“Before you say no, I was thinking that-” Jin stops short, looks over the rim of his glass and gives his bandmate a disconcerting look. This is only his third drink, he thinks; he can’t possibly be hallucinating yet. “Huh?”

Koki laughs and looks away, puffing on his Cuban and staring through the one-way glass of the VIP section. “I was about to suggest that we do something like the complete opposite of what everyone expects us to do.” He ashes and lifts his squinted eyes towards Jin. “But why penguins?”

“Why not?” Jin shrugs. “I watched this show once where they were talking about how penguins spend their entire lives trying to find their one mate, whom they then stay with forever.”

“Ah, a metaphor then.” Koki nods understandingly and takes another hit. “‘Like penguins, I’ve been searching all this time for you.’ Or some shit.”

Jin raises an eyebrow at the way Koki sings the impromptu line instead of raps it. “You’re wanting to sing?”

“Like I said, the complete opposite of what everyone expects.” Koki winks at him. “Besides, I can sing just fine.”

“I never said you couldn’t,” Jin replies, elbowing him good-naturedly. “But maybe you could put the penguin line in your rap inset?”

He averts his eyes so that he won’t see Koki’s inevitable odd stare. The club outside these four walls seems like a different world, horny men and slutty women grinding and simulating sex on the dance floor to music that’s all bass and no content. Jin is disinterested in doing anything but sitting on this couch, discussing business with Koki while sipping this strong green drink and chain-smoking. It’s not healthy but he doesn’t care. He’s technically on vacation and everyone should be lucky that he didn’t take off to L.A. for the week, where he would undoubtedly do things that are much worse.

“Yeah, sure,” Koki finally says, the smoke from the Cuban wafting past Jin’s nose. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

Jin clears his throat and stalls by taking a drink. “I was hoping that we could have it ready by White Day.”

Koki doesn’t answer him right away, but then the couch shakes with his silent laughter. “Must have been some good chocolates.”

The alcohol clouds his mind and Jin bites back his nasty response – _you wouldn’t understand_ – even if Jin doesn’t really understand himself. Thankfully Koki lets it go and continues getting smashed, eventually stumbling out of the room to find something young and pretty (and hopefully female) to take home. Jin considers leaving but he doesn’t want to move, finds comfort in the throbbing beat of the music and just relaxes by himself, playing with his phone until he notices that he has a message.

_Did you know there is a type of monkey that settles disputes by rubbing off on each other?_

Jin chokes on his drink and struggles to focus; he can’t actually be seeing what he sees. It takes him several tries to type properly, but eventually he sends back a _what do you mean?_ and sits on the edge of his seat for the response.

When his phone beeps, he nearly drops it. _Bonobos. They are the least aggressive animal. They sleep with each other left and right for recreation._

No matter how much he blinks, the kanji doesn’t rearrange itself. Jin’s torn between wondering how one is supposed to respond to that and trying _not_ to think of any implication behind it. He almost calls her for an explanation before he remembers that that is probably not a good idea. He’s a little drunk and nice, sober girls don’t usually like being slur-yelled at with loud bass in the background. Instead, he settles for staring at his phone in disbelief, thumbs poised over the keys like the right response is going to type itself.

 _Sounds awkward_ , he finally replies.

 _Tell me about it_ , she messages back. _This program is on the TVs in Akihabara and there are little kids watching. Very educational._

Jin laughs so hard that he almost falls off the couch. Maki finds herself in the most amusing situations sometimes. Not to mention that she’s not too far away from the club he’s at. _That’s hilarious_.

_Oh good! I thought I had offended you for a minute. How are you tonight?_

Drunk, Jin wants to answer. Bored. Maybe even a little stimulated. Three clear signs that he should not continue this virtual conversation. _Out with Koki, but he seems to have found a more suitable companion. I’m crushed._

The lights from the dance floor illuminate the people in purple and green, including his bandmate who is sandwiched between two scantily-clad women. Jin just shakes his head; he’s heard stories from Koki that make him feel like a virgin.

_His loss. Any luck with the penguins?_

He smirks. _You’ll see._

Lounging back against the couch, he contemplates getting a cab. Going home, passing out, maybe jerking off first. Thinking of her, clad in only his T-shirt and maybe bikini-cut panties, those slim, smooth-looking legs opening for him. Briefly he entertains the idea of showing up at her place, regardless of the distance; such logic does not apply in intoxicated fantasies. She’d pull him in by his collar and throw him down on the couch, straddle his waist and lean down to-

The creak of the door interrupts his thoughts and Jin is grateful for it. The last thing he needs is to be caught masturbating in the VIP room of his favorite club. Ryo for one would never let him live it down. He assumes that his last-minute reprieve is granted by Koki until his eyes focus and he sees a girl he doesn’t know approaching him slowly, carefully, eyeing him like a cat about to pounce.

“Tanaka-sama thought you might need another drink,” the girl says evenly, cutely. With predatory eyes.

A waitress. Usually they aren’t permitted unless invited, which this one apparently was. He’s going to kill Koki for setting him up. Jin tries to wave his hand dismissively and ends up hitting himself in the face, backing his decision to cut himself off. “Actually,” he slurs. “I would like to close out my tab. And order a cab.”

“As you wish,” she says, but instead of turning to leave she leans across him to gather his empty glasses. Three – or six, Jin’s not sure – glasses clink together as she loses her footing and falls into his lap. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

No she’s not, Jin thinks as his hands naturally gravitate to her hips and she abandons the glasses to brace herself on his shoulders. She rocks her hips and his eyes roll back into his head; he had no idea how hard he was until she made contact. He bites back a moan, his few remaining coherent brain cells screaming at him to gently push her away, politely decline whatever she’s offering and get the hell out of there. Except that he can’t move and his body doesn’t exactly want to listen to him with the way she’s grinding down.

A vision of humping monkeys flashes in his mind and he almost laughs at the irony, the break from his hormones giving him the chance to turn his head just before she kisses him. She makes an affronted noise as he picks her up and places her next to him on the couch, shakily standing up and turning to her apologetically.

“It’s not you,” he struggles to say clearly. “It’s her.”

Her face relaxes as she presumably understands, then pouts as she reluctantly grabs for the glasses again. Jin feels himself start to give in and runs straight into the closed door in his attempt to get out, managing to get it open and dodging people like an American football player until the cold night air gives him a smack of clarity in the face.

Then he realizes that his bank card is still behind the bar. He slumps against the wall and grabs for his phone, calling Koki seven times in a row before leaving some semblance of swear words and death threats on his voicemail and biting his fist to keep from punching the wall. It’s close to one a.m. and he knows Yamapi has an early meeting; he would not be pleased if Jin called him for a ride. In a last ditch effort he counts the cash in his pocket, which of course hasn’t multiplied since they’d stopped at the conbini earlier and he doubts it would get him down the street, let alone all the way home.

He could have probably begged Nakamaru out of bed, but he knows of one person who is definitely awake and close by.

_How are you at breaking into houses?_

She owes him anyway.

*

“I suppose this is a bad time to tell you that I’ve only driven once, and I don’t actually have a license.”

Jin thinks that if he keeps his eyes closed, he’ll be less paranoid. “Just stay between the lines and stop when you see red.”

“I can’t understand anything you say,” Maki says, sounding more amused than angry. “You must have really drank a lot.”

“I’m letting you drive my car, aren’t I?” Jin mumbles, uncaring as to whether she hears him or not because he’s in his nice warm car with her nice warm voice and she’s only jerked the wheel once since they left. He could fall asleep right now, he’s so comfortable.

“I felt like a ninja sneaking around your apartment,” she goes on excitedly. “Your spare car keys weren’t where you said they were, but I found them in the refrigerator.”

“… the refrigerator?”

“I don’t know either. And I hope you don’t mind, but I saw something that looked like homemade pudding and helped myself.”

“That was Pi’s,” Jin replies with a chuckle. “He’ll get over it.”

“I’ll consider it my tip,” she teases.

He opens his mouth to reply, and the next thing he knows he’s on a hard, lumpy surface. His stomach lurches and he manages to roll onto his back before it gets the best of him, stretching as much as he can before daring to open his eyes.

A tiny black ball of fluff looks down at him from the back of a couch that is definitely not his, not with that hideous afghan. “Mrow?”

The smile tugs at his face despite not being completely awake as he reaches a shaky hand to pet its soft head. “Good morning, little one.”

The kitten seems to take his words as an invite to jump on his chest and lick his chin. Jin’s headache doesn’t seem as bad right now as the living purrbox makes him feel completely at ease, kneading the fabric of his shirt while stretching its head out for Jin’s weak fingers.

“Tori-chan,” Maki coos from somewhere behind him. “Leave Jin-kun alone, he’s hungover.”

“You named your cat ‘bird’?” Jin asks sleepily, rubbing Tori-chan behind the ears until he thinks the small kitten is trying to burrow itself inside his chest. “I am not at all surprised.”

Like pet, like owner. Thankfully, Maki doesn’t retaliate by doing something horrible like _turning on the lights_ ; in fact, she looks like she’s on her way out the door, perfectly set hair and makeup with a waft of fruity-smelling perfume when she leans over to kiss her cat on the head. “I’ll leave him to you, girl. Don’t let him let you out, and if he ever uses my house key without my permission, lick him to death.”

Tori-chan purrs harder, and Maki blows cat hair off of her glossy lips as she stands up. He watches her through very hooded eyes and wonders if he’s supposed to say something, thinks about how to word ‘thanks for carting my drunk ass around and letting me crash on your couch’ as Maki grabs her bag and heads towards the door.

“It’s okay,” she says simply, and Jin feels relieved. “I’m not kicking you out, but my spare key is on the counter if you need to leave. Just hold onto it until you see me again, or you can keep it, whatever.”

Jin’s a little taken aback at being trusted with a key to her apartment, but right now there’s only one question on his mind. “Where am I?”

Maki bites her lip and gives him a sheepish look. “About two hours north of Tokyo.” She plays with her fingers nervously. “You fell asleep, so I didn’t know where else to go. I didn’t want to invite myself to sleep at your place, and besides I have a shoot this morning. I hope you’re not angry with me for wasting your gas.”

“Angry?” Jin repeats with a laugh, then cringes when it hurts. “I’m happy you didn’t leave me in the car.”

“You’re surprisingly agreeable and gentle when you’re drunk,” she tells him, shrugging. “It could be a lot worse.”

He tries to think back to last night, and all he remembers was Akihabara. “If you live all the way out here and had to work today, what were you doing out on my side of town so late?”

“Oh, that reminds me,” she says suddenly, looking guilty. “I should probably send that guy an apology. I was on a date.”

“A date?” Jin repeats, feeling flatter than he already does. If Maki is still actively dating other guys then that means that the chocolates were just a friendly gesture. “I’m sorry to trouble you during a date.”

She shakes her head and grins. “You actually saved me. He was really, really boring. I kept trying to get him to give me a ride home but he wanted to keep _walking_ and _talking_.”

Jin smiles despite himself as Tori-chan curls up on his chest, rising and falling with each breath. “You can use me as an excuse anytime you want.”

“I totally will,” Maki replies. “But now I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

“Wait,” Jin calls after her. “If I give you a ride, do we have time for breakfast?”

She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “Only if you’ll settle for apple pancakes.”

Tori-chan claws onto him in her sleep, and Jin’s sleepy mind considers this a metaphor for what he’s feeling right now.

*

“This is the gayest thing you’ve ever written,” Ryo tells him. Helpfully.

Jin snatches his song lyrics back. “It’s not gay if it’s for a _girl_ , dumbass. You could do well to learn from me and write Masami-chan a song from the heart.”

“It would be full of weak insults,” Masami inputs from Ryo’s lap, where she jerks the controller hard enough to send her head right back into his crotch. She smirks as he cringes. “‘Get your laundry off my floor, you dirty whore’.”

“You’re prettier when you’re quiet,” Ryo tells her, lowering a hand to her hair to hold her still. “Or when you have something in your mouth.”

Masami looks up at Jin. “See?”

“Besides,” Ryo goes on, “I don’t need fruity lyrics to get laid.”

“It’s true,” Masami agrees, looking put out about it. “It doesn’t matter what he says as long as he’s screaming.”

Jin just shakes his head at them and watches Yamapi get his ass kicked in Soul Caliber by Ryo’s girlfriend. Thankfully Keiko’s busy tonight, even if he still manages to feel like a fifth wheel regardless of whose woman is around. He wonders what would happen if Maki were here, if they were together. Would she sit in his lap and play video games with his friends? Discuss modeling and fashion with Masami and/or Keiko? Somehow Jin thinks that aside from polite small talk, the girls wouldn’t really have anything to talk about. They live in completely different worlds.

Up until recently, Jin lived in that world too. The one with Masami and Keiko and Yamapi and Ryo, and probably Kame and Meisa too. Where you made love to the camera, looked your best, and embraced the spotlight. If you had any complaints, you kept them to yourself. Be grateful for the cards you were dealt and don’t bite the hand that feeds. Jin remembers the feeling well even if he hasn’t experienced it in a couple years.

But now he doesn’t feel nearly as guilty anymore. He doesn’t think Maki is in the same boat as him, not at all, but she doesn’t push him to be an idol and accepts him the way he is. Maki reminds him how to have fun, to sing and dance for pleasure as well as work, and maybe even how to feel what he sings about. So many years singing the words makes them lose their meaning, desensitizing the singer to their meaning and depth.

It may not be a traditional love song, but Jin thinks it’s perfect. Koki likes it because it’s cryptic and simple, a series of symbols and metaphors that will either go over everyone’s heads or give them the complete wrong idea. They’d decided to roll with the penguin concept and use birds to sing about the simplicity of life and living with no worries. It has a theme of ‘flying together’ and Jin has never felt prouder of any lyrics he’s ever written.

“They’re still gay,” says Ryo, and Jin ignores him.

Casually he picks up his phone and sends off a message, one of the first times he’s initiated the conversation himself. _If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?_

Less than a minute later, his phone buzzes. _Hummingbird. I would get to eat sweet things all the time!_

He probably has a stupid grin on his face but he doesn’t care, eyes scanning over his lyrics until he gets to the line about the hummingbird. ‘Sweet as you are, living so fast that you’re perfectly still. Let’s go nowhere together’.

 _I’m psychic_ , he tells her.

 _In that case, what am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow?_ she mails in response.

He thinks about it for a second, ducking when a couch pillow meant for Ryo flies over his seat. The next day is his recording with Koki, their silly ballad about birds, solely so they can have a ‘leak’ for White Day. _Curry_ , he tells her. _You will eat curry._

The next day, she mails him with a picture of steaming curry, and Jin can’t stop smiling..

*

On White Day, Jin is a giant bundle of nerves. It takes two smacks to the head and a guilt trip from Koki, and it’s inevitably the rapper who steals Jin’s phone and hits ‘send’ on the message.

Instantly, Jin drops to the floor and covers his face. “I can’t believe you did that!”

“I can’t believe you’re being a _girl_ about it!” Koki replies. “Since when are you such a chicken shit?”

“Since he’s in _love_ ,” Junno supplies, wiggling his eyebrows. “It was nice of Koki to agree to a cute duet~”

Koki clears his throat and looks at the floor. “Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal. I can still do what I want with my solo.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jin agrees. “Thanks again, man.”

“Whatever.” Koki looks at his own phone. “I wonder how long it will take her to listen to it.”

All three of them stare at Jin’s phone for an entire minute.

“Maybe she’s busy,” says Junno. “It _is_ White Day.”

Koki smacks him behind Jin’s back. “That is not comforting!”

“I didn’t mean with another man!” Junno backpedals. “I meant that she might have to work and doesn’t have time to listen to it right now.”

“Maybe…” Jin thinks out loud. “I didn’t get my chocolates until almost midnight on Valentine’s Day, after all. And I didn’t thank her until the next afternoon.”

“See?” Junno says pointedly. “Give her time.”

Across the room, a notebook slams shut. “If you’re not going to work, Akanishi, go home,” Kame snaps irritably. “Your mushy bullshit is killing my concentration.”

“What did you get Kuroki-san for White Day?” Jin asks in response.

Kame’s resulting glare is accompanied by a twitch of the mouth. “I don’t have to get her anything. She didn’t give me chocolates.”

“What?!” five voices squawk in disbelief, abandoning whatever they were doing to gape at their youngest.

“We’re not _dating_ ,” Kame tells them. Again. “Sex friends don’t get each other presents. I’m fine with it. Mind your own business.”

Koki mocks Kame’s expression the minute he turns back to his lyrics, and Jin and Junno struggle to hold in their laughs. Then Jin’s phone beeps and _everyone_ in the room turns to look at it – Kame even glances over his shoulder in mild interest – but it’s just Yamapi asking if he’s going to be home tonight.

_I want to make Keiko dinner. Do you mind?_

Reading over his shoulder, Junno pats him on the head. “You can hang out with me!”

Jin gives Koki a desperate look. “I have a drama meeting tonight,” Koki says regretfully. “But afterwards I’m going to the club again.”

It’s probably not a good idea that Jin goes to the club. As much as he could use a drink to calm down, he wants to be sober when Maki contacts him. Whenever that may be. He pouts at Nakamaru and Ueda, who just shake their heads in apology (of course _they_ have plans on White Day), and reluctantly he turns towards Junno.

“I’m free,” Kame says suddenly, earning the attention and shock of the rest of the group. “I’ll tolerate your company if you buy me dinner.”

“Deal,” Jin agrees, trying not to sound too relieved. “Thanks anyway, Taguchi.”

“Ah, it’s probably for the better.” Junno grins. “I’m too colorful for White Day anyway.”

Jin rolls his eyes and resigns himself to spending the rest of their ‘meeting’ going over his solo. It’s easier for him because he already had a list of prepared songs to choose from, leaving him with the only decision of picking one. Which also, unfortunately, left him bored in their mandatory meetings. At least the rest of the group seemed to be pleased with his choice; out of all of the offensive English songs in his portfolio, no one could deny that Paparats was the most KAT-TUN-like.

“I wouldn’t subject my worst enemy to an evening with Taguchi,” Kame tells him on their way out. “Did you drive?”

“Yeah,” Jin replies. “I can leave my car here, though.”

“Nah, you can drive.” Kame smirks. “Just don’t ditch me when your woman beckons.”

Jin snorts and leads the way to his car. They drive in silence, neither one much of a conversationalist when in the presence of the other. After working together for ten years, there isn’t much to talk about. Other than the obvious. “Where do you want to eat?” Jin asks casually.

“I don’t care,” Kame replies. “Just as long as we eat. I’m starving.”

They end up at an out-of-the-way ramen shop where there’s a lesser chance of being mauled by fangirls. The food is good and the atmosphere is light, the only other patrons including a family with young children and a pair of elderly women who seem to pay them no mind.

“There’s your girlfriend,” Jin mumbles thought his mouthful, nudging Kame in the arm and pointing towards the women with his chopsticks.

Kame looks up and chokes on his noodles. “I’m _eating_.”

“I thought you liked older women?” Jin inquires seriously. “I bet she cooks well.”

Shaking his head, Kame returns to his bowl.

“And goes to bed early,” Jin goes on. “You’d get a lot of sleep. Unless she snores.”

“I’m going to dump this bowl on your head if you don’t stop,” Kame tells him evenly, then slurps up another mouthful.

“You wouldn’t waste delicious ramen, would you?” Jin asks knowingly.

Kame’s answer is in the way he finishes every last drop. “For that, I’m making you buy me seconds.”

Another glance at his phone shows that Jin has nothing better to do, so he agrees. He feels nice and bloated when he finishes, both of them lounging back in their chairs with full stomachs and clear minds.

“Not that I care,” Kame begins, “but continuously checking your phone isn’t going to make it go off.”

“I know that,” Jin retorts, pushing the display button again anyway. “I wonder if she didn’t get it.”

Kame stretches his arms over his head. “Ask her, not me.”

Quickly Jin looks around the shop to see if there’s anything random and amusing that he can mail her about. Those kinds of things usually happen to her, not him; Jin can’t think of anything other than his teasing towards Kame.

It will have to do. _I tried to hook Kame up with a mature woman, but her hair was too gray._

He laughs as he sends it and catches Kame rolling his eyes out of his peripheral vision. “Don’t hate.”

“Girls are troublesome,” Kame says cryptically. “All they do is stress us out. Let’s go, I want to smoke.”

He leans smugly against the door while Jin pays for them both, then they stroll aimlessly around the block as they both light up. Jin vaguely remembers when Kame smoked for the first time, back when they were young and careless, hiding out in the abandoned stairwell in the far corner of the parking garage beneath Johnny’s building. They hadn’t been hiding to keep from getting caught smoking; they’d just wanted to get away for a little while. From work, from the rest of KAT-TUN, from life.

Jin wishes that it was still that easy. Now they have responsibilities, obligations, _images_. At least Kame inhales properly now, he thinks bemusedly as white smoke blows out of Kame’s nose. This is comfortable, familiar. Walking down the street with his longtime acquaintance, not really talking but moving at the same speed, each step synchronized like it was planned that way. He wonders if this hadn’t been Kame’s intent from the beginning, to keep Jin from working himself up over Maki’s reaction to his White Day gift. He’s still curious to know what she thinks, but he’s considerably calmer about it.

The beep of his phone surprises him, and Kame stops and stares at him until he pulls out the device and looks at the screen.

_Gray hair is easier to dye pink. =D_

Jin frowns, then types before he changes his mind. _Did you get my message earlier? I sent you an .mp3._

Kame takes up a post against the nearest wall, kicking his foot back to prop himself up as he sticks his cigarette between his lips and pulls out his own phone. He’s clearly not bothered by the interruption in their walk, which gives Jin no shame in not moving his eyes from his display until it finally goes off again.

_I did! It was cute. I’m glad I could contribute to your work! :3_

He stands still, gripping the phone like the harder he looks at it, the more likely the words are to change. “I don’t get it,” he thinks out loud.

Kame’s footsteps are loud on the pavement, his hand seizing Jin’s wrist so that he can see the message. “They’re all the same, aren’t they?”

“What do you mean?” Jin asks, feeling empty despite just eating two bowls of ramen.

“Girls,” Kame explains. “Women. You do everything you can to make them happy, but they don’t want to be anymore than friends.”

His dark look tells Jin that he’s speaking from experience, and for the first time he wonders if Kame had actually had any say in his lack of relationship with Meisa. He can’t imagine being that intimate with someone he actually likes, giving just his body while keeping his feelings inside. Just thinking about it with Maki has his heart breaking even more than it already is. “So what happens now?” he asks, his voice wavering.

Kame claps him on the shoulder. “We drink ourselves stupid and watch action movies with gratuitous violence until we pass out in uncomfortable positions on my couch – or possibly the floor – and wake up in the morning hating life.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jin agrees. No matter what, he and Kame seem to understand each other.

By the time he gets to the bottom of the bottle, he’s almost forgotten about her.

*

It’s difficult to mope properly when you’re famous, particularly in KAT-TUN where he’s mocked enough in the first hour to overcome any kind of sensitivity he may have had towards the topic. By lunchtime Koki’s making fun of their song lyrics and Jin’s snorting in amusement, rolling his eyes at Junno’s impossible positivity and picking on Nakamaru for no good reason. Ueda doesn’t look impressed but not everyone can be as cool and collected as him, and Kame is too hungover to harp on them for anything except shining light in his face (which they do periodically, just to make sure he’s awake).

The weeks goes on and their album gradually gets pieced together, recording after recording and long afternoons sitting around the studio waiting their turn. It gives Jin something to do and he’s grateful for the full schedule, maybe even grateful for these guys whom he’s known forever who don’t treat him any differently regardless of what he’s feeling.

Yamapi, however, is unhappy with him. “I can’t believe you’re just giving up like that,” he says, everything about him screaming with disapproval. He’s standing in the doorway to Jin’s room with his hands on his hips, his bangs pulled up off his forehead and Jin has a disturbing vision of his mother lecturing him. “Men should fight for the women they love!”

“It’s pointless if she doesn’t love me, isn’t it?” Jin replies flatly, changing the channels on his TV without really paying attention to what’s on. “All of that unnecessary effort for nothing.”

“You don’t know that, Jin,” Yamapi says, a little exasperated as he invites himself to sit on Jin’s bed. He’s blocking the TV, but Jin can fall onto his side and see around him. “All she said is that the song was cute. Maybe since you didn’t say anything other than ‘Happy White Day, check out the song Koki and I made~’, she is taking your words for face value and not what you are expecting her to-”

“Can it, Pi,” Jin interrupts. “Maki is a very abstract woman. She takes nothing at face value.”

“Regardless, you should talk to her.” Yamapi frowns. “Maybe she’s not hearing the lyrics the way you want her to because she doesn’t know they’re _for her_. Or maybe she did hear them that way, but she’s not going to tell you because you haven’t given her any indication that _you_ feel anything towards her.”

Jin buries his face in his arm. “That’s complicated.”

“Women are complicated,” Yamapi tells him.

“Maki isn’t like most women,” Jin shoots back. “It’s the main reason I’m attracted to her.”

“No offense, Keiko,” Keiko speaks up pointedly from the hallway, leaning against the door frame as she joins her boyfriend in critical glaring. “None taken, thanks.”

“Ah, it’s a tag team!” Jin replies mockingly. “I assume now you’re going to inform me of the inner workings of a woman you’ve only met once?”

“Nope,” Keiko replies, then grins. “I’m going to threaten you with talking to her myself if you don’t man up and go after her.”

“Man up…” Jin repeats, looking at Yamapi indignantly. “Can’t you two be satisfied with your own romantic love story? What is it with couples needing to hook up everyone around them? Maybe I like being single.”

“Maybe you’re a horrible liar,” Yamapi declares, and Jin can’t argue because it’s the truth.

He meets Keiko’s challenging eyes instead. “You don’t know her number or where she lives.”

“No,” Keiko admits. “But I know where she works. I have friends who model for Can-Cam.”

Jin glares at his bedspread. “ _Dammit_.”

There is quick movement next to him as Keiko grabs his phone from his nightstand before he can stop her. Jin goes after her but Yamapi halts him, pinning him to his own bed with both hands and knees while Keiko happily sends off a message. He stops struggling when Keiko tosses his phone on the mattress, but Yamapi doesn’t let up.

“When you’re sad, it makes him sad,” Keiko tells Jin, pouting a little. “I had to do _something_.”

Now Yamapi moves, climbing off of Jin’s bed to take his girlfriend into his arms. Jin takes advantage of their mutual distraction to grab for his phone, scrolling through the sent messages and inhaling sharply when he reads the direct question Keiko had typed.

_Let’s go on a date! Where to?_

Jin can feel his heart beating in his chest, oblivious to the affectionate couple in his bedroom as every second seems to stretch on forever. For his sanity he hopes that she replies soon, even if it’s just something like “sorry, not interested” or more likely “a date as friends would be okay!” He keeps turning the display light back on each time it turns off, counting the seconds in between to keep his brain from thinking of worst-case scenarios.

An excruciating three minutes later, his phone beeps. _Aquarium! Finally I can go with someone fun~_

Jin feels like all of his breath leaves his body in his relieved sigh. Unfortunately, it also attracts the other two, who pile onto his bed like teenagers and read the message upside-down.

“See?” Keiko says needlessly. “She wants to go out with you. When are you going? Maybe we can double!”

“Absolutely not,” both Jin and Yamapi say at the same time.

Keiko looks crushed. “But I liked her. She’s interesting.”

“I’ll bring her over again, maybe,” Jin says as he concentrates on his reply. _How’s Monday? It’s the only night I have off before the new album comes out._ Which will be followed by promotions and a tour. The neverending cycle of idol life.

_I had dinner plans, but for you I will reschedule.^^ I’ll be in Tokyo for work until 4 p.m. Do you know where the Can-Cam building is?_

Jin briefly looks at Keiko. _I can find it. See you then._

It seems so strange to actually make plans with Maki; up until this point it had always been a spontaneous meeting. He wonders if she’ll still message him between now and then or if the officialness killed their casual, random mail exchange.

Not five minutes later, his phone goes off again. _Do you think it’s rude to eat sushi before going to the aquarium? I wonder if the fish will somehow know._

So much for worrying, he thinks with a smile.

“Aw,” Keiko says with a look on her face that is usually reserved for babies, furry animals, and sleeping Yamapi. “You’re so cute when you’re in love.”

He kicks both of them out of his room.

*

 _It’s just Maki. It’s just Maki._ The words repeat in the front of Jin’s brain like a mantra as he gets ready for their First Official Date, doing everything in his power not to freak out or – more importantly – let anyone else see how nervous he is. He’d already spent an hour getting dressed that morning, going through his closet and half of Yamapi’s for something casual but cool and not obvious enough to earn suspicion from his bandmates.

Unfortunately, Jin just brushing his hair is enough to get their attention. “Someone’s got a hot date tonight,” Junno announces the minute Jin walks into the room.

Traitor. If he hadn’t have said anything, Jin doubts the others would have _looked_ at him for a few more hours. Kame doesn’t even have both of his eyes open yet. “Not your business,” he tells them, but it’s a wasted effort because suddenly he’s the most interesting thing in the room.

“Good for you,” Kame says briskly, a sense of bitterness behind his tone. “I’m a full supporter of anything that gets you to take a shower before meetings.”

“He’s even wearing cologne,” Koki says in surprise, then makes Jin jump by pressing his nose into his neck. “Nice, Akanishi. Subtle. Must be one of those classy hos you’re always singing about.”

Jin laughs despite himself as he shoves Koki away. “She is the exact opposite of that.”

“I liked Nishiyama-san,” Ueda says sadly, and Nakamaru very obviously kicks him under the table. “I’m sorry, but I thought she complemented you.”

The pleased smile forms on Jin’s face without his direction, and it only gets bigger when he looks up into a sea of ‘eh?’s. “Tonight I am taking Maki-chan to the aquarium. I will do my best to not be boring.”

Everyone’s faces split into grins but Kame’s. Jin tries not to feel guilty; Kame’s situation has nothing to do with him, even if the younger man clearly disapproves of Jin’s decision to continue pursuing his girl. It’s not Jin’s fault that Kame has too much pride to chance going after what he wants.

He won’t let it dampen his spirits anyway, sheepishly dodging all of the excited questions and pushing them back on track. They’re almost done, ready to send the tracks off to be burned and distributed, but now is the crucial time when they listen to the recordings and fine-tune any discordance. It takes complete concentration, something that Jin doesn’t really have much of with his nerves fluttering around like they are. Instead he just listens to the songs, feeling the atmosphere of each theme and figuring that that is good enough because he’s hearing them like anyone who would buy their album.

He gets to his and Koki’s duet and is amazed at the quality of their voices, or maybe it just sounds better to him because of the content. They’d gone back and forth over the title before finally deciding on Bird Song, something simple to showcase the nature of the lyrics. Kame and Ueda had opted for a fun, upbeat song in direct contrast to their angsty solos, while Nakamaru and Junno had played around with techno beats and created something crazy while singing completely normal pop songs themselves. Jin is constantly amazed at the diversity of his group, mostly how they all manage to toss their distinct tastes together without having it explode in their faces like a chemistry experiment gone horribly wrong.

It only makes sense that he would have a girlfriend like that, too. Not to get too ahead of himself since they haven’t had their first date yet, but all of the time they’ve spent together has been completely unrelated to either of their work, enjoying each other’s company without actually having anything in common. The difference is what attracts him to her just like the dynamic of his group, but a lot of it has to do with _her_ and her open mind that has fun doing anything as long as she can be herself.

Miraculously Jin makes it through the meeting, putting all of his effort into driving properly to Maki’s work building. He’s early but it’s not worth going all the way home; he entertains himself by playing Tetris on his phone until a knock on his window has him nearly jumping out of his skin. She waves eagerly from the other side of the glass, appearing rather subdued for a model who just finished working. He can barely tell she has any makeup on.

“I’m glad it really was you,” she says as she hops into the passenger seat. “I felt like a creeper just going up to your window and peering in. The tint makes it hard to see.”

“Ah, sorry,” he says, trying to look casual with one hand on the wheel as he leans back in the seat. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“I’m excited!” she replies, her face showing her words. “We haven’t gone out properly yet, have we? You look totally different in the daylight.”

It should feel awkward, but all Jin can do is laugh. “Thanks, I think.” Then it occurs to him that he should probably compliment her, and he fumbles over his words as he concentrates on pulling into traffic at the same time. “You too, I mean. You look nice. Pretty.”

She giggles, the noise alone lifting Jin’s mood even if he should feel embarrassed. “Thank you, even if I feel like someone who has been working in an office all day.”

“No photoshoots?” Jin asks curiously.

“Nope. I spent all day on my summer designs.” She flashes a grin. “It sounds boring but I enjoy it.”

He vaguely remembers her talking about her clothing line on their show, which seems like a million years ago in a completely different universe. “Anything I would be interested in?” he asks.

“Not unless you’re considering an alternative lifestyle.” She winks. “My clothes are made only for women.”

He hides a smile. “That’s a little sexist, don’t you think?”

“Not at all,” she replies with a laugh. “Men are welcome to wear them too.”

“In that case,” he jokes, “I know where to go the next time I have to dress up for work.”

“I’ve seen you ‘dressed up’,” she says. “You give some of my girls a run for their money.”

Jin scoffs. “Ah well, they say everyone is good at something…”

“Jin-kun is modest,” Maki comments, and they both laugh.

It doesn’t surprise him that their first conversation on their First Official Date is about cross-dressing. An old Utada song comes on the radio and Maki happily sings along, not one for vocal stylings but that doesn’t seem to stop her. Jin can’t imagine that anything would stand in Nishiyama Maki’s way of having fun, even while on a boring date with a guy who can’t bring himself to ask her anything other than typical getting-to-know-you questions. Except that he actually knows her, even if he’s not well-versed on the specifics of her job or statistics like how many siblings she has.

The sushi is delicious and entertaining, Maki making one of her sashimi approach Jin’s and hit on it. She’s using a low voice, clearly playing the male while Jin ups his pitch and cutely makes his fish play hard to get. Then Maki presses the heads together and makes a kissing sound, and Jin is amazed at both her boldness and the fact that their dinner has gotten farther than they have.

By the time they get to the aquarium, he wonders if she was trying to tell him something. Maybe that’s how she likes to be confessed to, the ultimate direct approach where Jin shows her how he feels about her with a sudden physical display of affection. Maki doesn’t seem like the type to have long drawn-out conversations about feelings, after all, although he’s learned not to assume anything about her.

She grabs onto his arm as they walk through the building, the glass tunnel where all kinds of fish swim above and around them. Maki squeals happily at them all, and Jin thinks that she’s only holding on to him so that she can drag him from wall to wall, pointing out the odd-looking fish and presuming their thoughts and feelings. Jin makes it until they reach the clownfish before bursting out into laughter at the way Maki exclaims “I found Nemo!” and gushes over how his fin had clearly been repaired.

“Maybe I should have written a song about fish,” Jin thinks out loud as Maki imitates the breathing faces looking back at her. Already he thinks that it’s a more appropriate metaphor for his feelings, going after the one who is different than everyone else, but Maki’s shaking her head.

“I liked the birds,” she says, her face seeming to light up even more. “You took something silly and turned it into a cute story about living without boundaries.” She laughs and shows apprehension just for a second, biting her bottom lip in a way that has Jin wanting to comfort her forever. “I want to be like the birds in your song, all of them. Their stories are so happy and free.”

Jin clears his throat, scratching the back of his head before taking a deep breath. “You already are.”

He doesn’t think she heard him at first, his eyes locked on her expression as she continues to stare out at the fish before turning to him with a big smile. “I am, aren’t I? I guess it’s like my theme song or something.”

“I would so hope so,” Jin says, his heart beating in his throat. “Since I wrote it for you.”

Her jaw drops, her grip on his arm loosening until she’s reaching for the other one, standing right in front of him and looking up at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. “Really?!”

“Yeah,” he says, trying to sound nonchalant when in all actuality he’s fighting to keep from smiling at the way she’s bouncing. “I thought it would be an appropriate response to your caricature chocolates.”

Now she swats playfully at him. “Jin-kun!” she berates, keeping her voice down as other people pass by. “If something is a gift, you need to say so! I am not a mind reader.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jin replies, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I am not good at these things.”

“Me neither,” Maki admits, laughing again in a way that Jin’s starting to recognize as nervousness. “But I think I should show you something.”

He tilts his head in interest as she reaches into her bag, then pulls out her iPhone and brings up her song count. Jin’s eyebrows rise at the high number of plays Bird Song has, doing some quick math in his head to declare it close to impossible to listen to it that many times since White Day unless she’s done nothing but listen to it on repeat.

“Remember, I spend a lot of time commuting,” she tells him, a little embarrassedly. “Jin-kun, I’m so happy~!”

“I’m gla-” Jin starts, then the wind is knocked out of him as she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly right there in the middle of the aquarium. Slowly Jin lowers his own arms to embrace her, holding her close and breathing in the fruity scent of her hair that seems to intoxicate him as he holds her.

“Such a great friend,” she says into his shoulder. “Thank you for my song.”

The alarms go off in his head, Kame’s scorned words coming back to haunt him as his entire body tenses and he gently pushes her out to arm’s length. “Maki-chan…” he begins, his mouth opening and closing much like the fish surrounding them as the right words don’t come.

“Oh no,” Maki says, covering her mouth in shame as she moves back even more. “I felt too much, I’m sorry.”

It’s an interesting choice of words, one which has him shaking his head and closing his eyes to her confused expression as he pulls her hand away from her face and leans in. She gasps against his lips but her wrist falls lax in his hand, giving him the green light to tilt his head and kiss her properly. After several heartbeats, she reciprocates, moving her mouth against his just enough for him to feel it in his toes before breaking apart and lowering her head.

He takes her in his arms again, feels her shake with uncertainty and this part is familiar, the comforting way he squeezes her to his chest and presses his mouth to the top of her head.

“I don’t think I can fly yet,” he says just as anxiously, his voice deep in her hair. “But if you teach me, I’ll fly wherever you go.”

Her fingers twist in his jacket, a soft laugh pressed into his throat as she settles into his embrace. “Penguins don’t fly,” she tells him, pointing to the blue water on the other side of the glass. “They swim, like fish.”

Jin grins. That’s better, because he already knows how to swim.

*

“This is a bad idea,” Jin says, but nobody seems to care what he thinks.

“You can’t keep her all to yourself,” Masami says firmly, her hands on her hips as she leaves Ryo in the kitchen. “Any girl who has managed to tie down the world-famous playboy Akanishi Jin is deserving of my friendship, at least.”

“He’s not _that_ good, devil woman,” Ryo calls out. “Playboys usually have girls who actually return for seconds.”

Jin’s opening his mouth to refute when Yamapi claps him on the shoulder. “I already like her, and so does Keiko.”

Next to him, Keiko nods in agreement. “She’s fun.”

“It’ll be fine,” Yamapi says.

“I promise to behave,” adds Masami. “And kick Ryo if he doesn’t.”

“I heard that,” Ryo hollers, “and I’m spiking your drink _as we speak_.”

Masami just rolls her eyes. “Then it should taste better than the crap you usually mix.”

They’re saved by a knock on the door, Yamapi holding back Keiko while Masami shoves Jin across the room to answer it. He feels three pairs of judging eyes on him as he stands tall, taking a second to gather himself before reaching for the knob and pulling it open.

He’s greeted with a bright red lei over his head, followed by Maki’s addictive grin and bouncing ponytail. “Aloha! My brother just got back from Hawaii and told me to lei as many people as possible. You’re first!”

“I like her already,” Ryo comments from the kitchen as Maki goes around the room placing leis over their heads, stopping to introduce herself to Masami.

“Nice to meet you,” Masami says politely. “But if you lei my man, I’ll scratch your eyes out.”

Maki just smiles and holds out the remaining leis. “I’ll leave it to you, then.”

Masami grabs the blue one and disappears into the kitchen, doing something that creates a lot of clanging of pans and cursing.

“I guess I will meet Nishikido-kun properly later,” Maki says obliviously. “Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you.”

Jin stands back while Maki steps into the room, looking completely comfortable in this place with these people and fitting in easily. He has nothing to worry about as she falls into conversation with Keiko about designers and photographers, shop talk, and he’s so focused on their interaction that he doesn’t notice Yamapi standing next to him.

“I got an interesting mail from Kame earlier,” Yamapi says.

“That’s nice,” Jin replies carelessly.

Yamapi chuckles at his reaction and settles back against the door. “Apparently _someone’s_ shiny new relationship motivated him to tell Meisa-chan that he wants to be more than just sex friends.”

That earns Jin’s attention. “Oh really.”

“Yeah really.” Yamapi pulls out his phone and scans his messages. “I invited them over, but he said he’d rather wear a dress and join Morning Musume than watch us be sickening sweet with our girlfriends.”

“That sounds about right,” Jin assesses. “Does that mean they’re together now?”

Yamapi just grins. “But you have your own romantic love story, why do you care about theirs?”

“Shut up,” Jin mumbles.

“You’re being weird,” Yamapi tells him bluntly. “Stop being weird.”

“Sorry,” Jin replies, which makes Yamapi’s eyebrows raise even more. “I just want Maki-chan to have a good time.”

Yamapi shakes his head and nudges Jin with his shoulder. “I would think that she would have a good time no matter what as long as you were with her. That’s the secret to being a good boyfriend, making her smile by just existing.”

Jin glances over at Maki, who seems perfectly happy on her own, and turns back to Yamapi with a helpless look. Yamapi gestures pointedly and Jin reluctantly picks up his feet, shuffling across the carpet until he’s next to the couch where Maki and Keiko are talking animatedly. There’s enough room between Maki and the end for him to sit, leaning back with his arm stretched along the back in invitation.

“Ah, hand!” Maki squeals suddenly, then laughs when she spins around to see Jin. “You scared me! I was talking and then I see this _hand_ out of the corner of my eye.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, bracing himself to get up until Maki’s head drops to his arm. He freezes, his eyes drifting up to Yamapi who just smacks him in the head as he walks by and sits next to Keiko, pulling her into his lap without breaking the flow of her words.

“I guess I’m not supposed to point out how awkward you’re acting,” Ryo says to Jin as he perches on the arm of the recliner where Masami plops down, fingering the frills of his apron. “But you are.”

Surprisingly it’s Maki who answers, in a light voice like always. “It’s okay, we’re both new to this,” she says confidently, then turns to Jin. “Right?”

Jin nods, feeling much more at ease, and Ryo actually looks impressed. “Nice job, Akanishi,” he says. “You found a girl who will even speak for you so that you can be even _lazier_.”

Behind Maki’s head, Jin lifts his middle finger in response. Masami laughs out loud in approval.

Dinner is exceptional, Ryo having lost a bet to Masami and the others getting to reap the benefits of a rare Nishikido family recipe. They crowd around the coffee table to eat, fawning over the food and inflating Ryo’s ego until the bowls are empty. They janken for cleaning duty and Keiko loses, pouting to Yamapi who ends up gathering dishes and Jin to help.

They wash in silence, the chatter from the other room audible over the sound of running water and scrubbing. “Somehow I feel grown up,” Jin thinks out loud.

Yamapi responds by flicking soap bubbles in his face. Jin retaliates, the two of them going back and forth until Yamapi redirects the sink water to spray right into Jin’s face and most of their kitchen.

“What are you, five?” Ryo calls from the couch. “Stop dicking around and finish so that I don’t have to entertain your women anymore.”

“If you were really entertaining me, you wouldn’t be able to talk,” Masami replies evenly.

Reluctantly Yamapi and Jin finish washing (and drying) the kitchen and retreat to their respective rooms to change shirts. Jin’s hair is still wet when he returns, cringing under Maki’s serious stare and relaxing when she smiles and leans back against him. “You’re comfortable,” she says quietly enough for only him to hear. “Is it okay to sit like this while we watch the movie?”

Jin grunts in affirmation and Maki snuggles closer, the weight of her head on his chest that can barely contain his rapidly beating heart. He wonders if she can hear it, what she thinks it’s for as he wraps his arms around her and she covers them with her own. Twenty minutes into the movie, she’s playing with his fingers in a way that is autonomous and hypnotizing at the same time. He pays more attention to her than what’s on the TV, and he thinks that she’s just as unconcerned being as she’s not even looking at the screen.

Next to them, Yamapi is asleep and Keiko doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, lounging in his lap and watching the movie with minimal interest. Jin doesn’t have to look over at Masami and Ryo to know that they’re quietly mocking the characters while teasing each other with inappropriate touches, about ten minutes away from making out and thirty from sneaking to bathroom for the next hour. Maki, meanwhile, is making a dinosaur out of her hand and having it trip over the rocky ground of Jin’s knuckles, doing a little dance up his arm that has him struggling not to react a little too positively.

She tugs at his opposite hand and he pulls them apart, her fingers locking with his as her dinosaur now has a friend. Jin’s hand is wobbly at first but eventually he gets it to stand up, responding to Maki’s prodding and smiling into her hair as their hands shake hands. Then her middle finger pokes at his and presses the tips together, an undeniable dinosaur kiss that has him tightening his hold on her other hand. She scoots back against him and breathes deeply, then curls her finger around Jin’s so pointedly that it has him crossing his legs.

His blood is rushing through his veins, his heart beating even faster and she has to know what she’s doing to him, maybe even planning it that way. The nerves at the tips of his fingers end up going straight into his pants as she seduces him in the strangest yet most apt way, the movie completely forgotten along with their company as Jin decides to get her back with a soft kiss to the back of her neck.

It backfires as the faint scent of her perfume clouds his senses, leading him to pull her closer before he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. She, however, just tilts her head towards the back of the couch, stretching out her neck and giving him all the access in the world. But instead of using his mouth, he has his dinosaur climb up her arm and across her collarbone, skating across the smooth skin of her shoulder and finally leaning down to graze along her hairline.

He feels her whole body shiver and hears the rush of her breath as it leaves her, his own conscience torn between keeping this rated low or taking her to his room to resolve some of this tension. It’s obvious which one _he_ wants, the hard mass in his pants that just keeps getting worse with each little reaction she makes to his touch. He lasts until her hand drops to his knee, her dinosaur leaning over to explore his inseam, and he pulls her to her feet with absolutely no grace and no apology.

Their hands stay intertwined all the way down the hallway, through the door that closes with a loud bang behind them as Jin finds himself shoved up against it. This time she kisses him, hard on the mouth as Jin leans down and tilts his head without hesitation. Her tongue flicks against his and he groans low in his throat, her fingers gripping the bottom of his shirt like she’s hesitating to pull it up. He reaches behind his head to start her off, tugging it up to his hairline before she takes over and waits until the last second to break their kiss and remove it completely. She returns to his mouth and it’s encouraging, their kiss becoming more heated as Jin lingers on the hem of her own shirt, his fingers brushing along her abdomen as they sneak underneath the fabric.

She pulls him by the belt until they both fall onto his bed, her knee bending between his legs to rub her thigh against his groin. It has him moaning into her mouth and rocking against her, all propriety flying out the window as he pushes her shirt up and over her head. The spell of their kiss now broken, both of their chests heave with much-needed air as Jin gapes down at where Maki’s smiling up at him like she’s not partially undressed on his bed.

“Jin-kun,” she says gently, reaching for his face to swipe the pad of her thumb along his jaw. “Don’t think, just feel.”

He blinks, continuing to stare at her even as she reaches behind her to unhook her bra. Then she reaches for Jin’s hand, flattens his fingers on her belly and pushes them up under the fabric, over a hard nub that has Maki arching against the touch, breaking eye contact to close her eyes and moan softly. It’s a beautiful noise and he takes her breast in hand, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and watching her squirm beneath him. He copies his actions with his other hand leans down to kiss her again, tasting her desperation before trailing his lips and tongue down her throat that stretches out for him.

Her nipples harden even more in his mouth, where he bathes them with his tongue before blowing cool air on them to make her whimper. First one and then the other, a mesmerizing dance of arousal that already surpasses any other girl he’s been with for the sole reason that his only desire isn’t to fuck her into the mattress. Of course he wants to do that too, but he also wants to please her and hear her say his name, make her come and leave her satisfied.

He’s also in no rush. He lavishes her breasts like he has all the time in the world, licking and sucking and even using his teeth to draw out a guttural noise of encouragement. One of Maki’s hands sinks into his hair, fingers weaving through the locks and pulling, hard enough to have his eyes rolling back into his head before he realizes that she’s pulling him _down_.

It’s out of rebellion that he pushes back up instead, buries his face in her neck and kisses behind her ear as his hands drop to her belt. Hers do the same to him and he falls between her spread legs, grinding against her directly and tightening his arms around her with each throb of yearning for her touch. He pushes her jeans to her knees and she kicks them off, repeating the action on him and getting banged in the shin as Jin’s feet get caught in his pants.

“Ah, sorry,” he hisses against her skin, leaning up enough to remove the denim completely. He feels humiliated until he looks back at her and sees her face, her smooth body clad in just panties – boy shorts, he notes – and an unfastened bra, and Jin’s boxers do nothing to hide how much he likes it.

It’s Maki who grabs him by the arm and pulls him back down, hand slipping down his chest and around his clothed erection to have him gasping as his mouth reconnects with hers. She kisses him lazily, preoccupied with lifting her legs to accept him between them, the head of his cock rubbing against her warmth that he can still feel through the thin material.

“Jin, please,” she whispers against his lips, followed by a pointed squeeze of his cock from base to tip with no barriers this time.

His name has never sounded so nice, her desperate tone encouraging him to lower his hand into her panties and drag his fingertips through her wetness. She cries out at the contact, her hips rocking up and his finger poking inside her before he’s ready. Her body tightens around him and he’s the one groaning as he pushes in and out, thrusting into Maki’s hand at the same speed and fooling himself into thinking that he’s really inside her, his head falling to her chest as his breath catches in his throat.

“ _Jin_ ,” and she pushes back against his touch, even when he inserts a second finger and crooks them inside her, moving in tandem with her efforts.

He remembers her gesture from earlier and kisses his way down her chest, his erection falling reluctantly from her hand as he settles between her legs and outlines her panty line with his tongue. His fingers fall from her, her whine like music to his ears as he hooks his arms around her thighs and presses his mouth right in the center. He can still taste her through the fabric, feeling the small bump rise beneath his lips as her legs open even more for him. Tentatively he licks at it and her hips lift her closer, her gasps from above fueling him to return his fingers inside her from another angle and pull aside her panties to lick her directly.

She moans as Jin laps at her, stretching her open while flicking his tongue all over her swollen clit, feeling the beginning of her orgasm shudder under him. Her body contracts around him and he fingers her harder, continuing to lick at the twitching bump until it hides from him. It’s at this point that he’s pulled up by his hair, his mouth crushed by a breathless Maki who practically rips off her panties and tears open a packet that unmistakably contains a condom. Jin’s boxers hit the floor as both of her hands encase him, rolling on the latex that has him grunting from that action alone, which along with her audible breaths guides him towards her.

It happens so fast, suddenly he’s inside her and moving, back and forth and in and out, her legs wrapped around his hips as her body responds to every thrust. He can’t concentrate on kissing but doesn’t want to leave her mouth, settling for groaning against her lips at the way she feels tight and hot around him. Her nails dig into his back, holding him close as well as encouraging him to go faster, deeper, plunging into her over and over until his mind is wholly taken over by arousal.

She’s chanting his name with every other breath, the fuel he needs to keep going, one hand bracing himself on the mattress while the other grabs onto the back of her thigh, pulling her towards him at the same time he rolls his hips forward. Her muscles start to squeeze him and she throws her head back as she comes again, drawing a deep groan from his lungs as well as he thrusts through it. He’s nowhere near done, but she doesn’t seem to be either with the way she clings to him and gives back just as much as he puts in.

He slows down and makes love to her gently, kissing her lips as he feels a layer of sweat cover his skin. He wants to come but he also wants to make it last, do it properly for once and stay inside her as long as he can. Her breath is still heaving from her orgasm and Jin adds to it by lifting his hand to her breast again. He twists her nipple and feels it around his cock, groaning at the sensation that has him ready to finish much sooner than he would like.

“Harder,” she says, shamelessly arching beneath him.

“Don’t want to come yet,” he mutters into her jaw. “Too good.”

She giggles and reaches for his face, biting her lip as he speeds up despite his efforts. “We can do it again, you know.”

It’s enough for him to justify pounding into her, the tingling beginning in the tips of his fingers and toes and coursing all the way through him as she comes again and her body becomes too tight to move through, milking his orgasm out of him as every nerve in his body seems to simultaneously flare up and burn out. He tries not to collapse on top of her but fails, feels her breasts heaving under his chest and her legs stretching out as she makes no effort to push him off of her.

“I am seriously debating which is better,” she says, pausing to breathe. “ _Really_ good cheesecake, or orgasms.”

Jin laughs into her shoulder and wonders if this is what it feels like to fly.


End file.
